SLOW
FADE TO BLACK:
a
novel by
Gorman
Bechard
copyright
1999
Gorman
Bechard
ALL
RIGHTS RESERVED
This
is a work of fiction. Names,
places, characters, films, books, songs, TV programs, universities, cities,
politicians and incidents, in other words EVERYTHING depicted in SLOW FADE TO
BLACK: is fictitious, or use fictitiously.
The events in this work of fiction are not real, nor are they intended to
be so interpreted. For example, any
quotes, speeches, thoughts, newspaper headlines, histories, anything and
everything contained herein is completely a product of the author's imagination
and there is no intention to imply that any of it is real.
THIRTY-FOUR
Max pulled his Jeep into the half mile long private drive that led to
Jeffrey Theilgard's Malibu castle. The
parking lot was mostly empty now. No
stretch limos, no chauffeurs, not even a Range Rover.
Just a shiny new Boxster, parked up front, close to the main entrance,
and an old Volvo station wagon parked by the servants' quarters.
A butler answered the door, an
elderly man with a foreign accent. German,
Max correctly guessed. "Miss
Theilgard's out back . . . by . . . the . . . pool," he said, waving his
hand game-show-hostess-like in the direction in which Max was supposed to walk.
"Thank you," Max
said, disappearing into the bowels of the mansion. It seemed even larger, more oppressive, without the celebrity
decorations.
He came, eventually, to the marble veranda which overlooked the pool --
though to call it a pool would be an insult to Mother Nature.
He noticed movement under the water and figured it to be Heather taking a
morning swim. He walked down the
marble steps than led to the pool and his leading lady.
It was at the edge of the pool that he noticed the familiar brass plaque.
Christ! Another Akihiko Takei original.
This one was called, Jayne Mansfield's Vulva.
Max must have been too nervous the night of the Healer
announcement to ever even notice. Too
nervous and too pre-occupied. He
looked about at the plants that surrounded the poolside.
He was puzzled, but not about Takei's obvious popularity -- the man was
talented. He knew plants, their
personalities and their splendor. No,
what bothered Max was the millionaire gardener's obvious obsession with Jayne
Mansfield's most private parts. What
was the deal here? He envisioned
some rock n' roll oldies flora fantasy: part The Girl Can't Help It, part
Little Shop of Horrors, by way of the most lurid chapters of Gray's
Anatomy, all dubbed in English like some dreadful Godzilla flick.
Max was shaking his head,
mostly out of confusion as to who'd play the Tom Ewell part, when Heather called
out his name.
"Max," she said.
"Over here."
He looked up.
Heather waved from the edge of the pool.
Her hair was slicked back. It
reminded Max of the night she fell into this same pool, fainting away at her
father's announcement that she'd be playing Leanna.
"Care to join me for a
swim?" she asked.
Max walked a few steps closer.
He gripped the script tightly in his hand and said, "We've got work
to do."
"Suit yourself,"
Heather said. "I'll be out in
a minute." She pushed off from
the edge of the pool -- a flash of pink surrounded by the bluest of blue.
Water blue and flesh pink, and nothing else.
Heather wasn't wearing a bathing suit, she was naked.
Max took a step forward, and watched as she swam toward the far shallow
end. Okay, he thought, mouthing the
word.
Her body emerged from the glistening blue of the water, the droplets
clinging to her tight figure. She
walked slowly, step by step, no hurry -- Heather knew she was being watched.
And when she arrived at poolside, she bent slowly at the waist to
retrieve the towel that rested on the ceramic tiled floor next to one of the
numerous chaise lounges. Max shook
his head, then looked away. He
didn't want to see her like this, he didn't need to.
Toweling herself off, Heather
turned and called to him, "Let's work over here.
There's some shade."
Max walked slowly in her
direction -- very slowly. She was
tucking a tank top into her shorts, and zipping them up, when Max arrive by her
side. She towel dried her hair and
motioned toward a glass patio table safely hidden from the sun under a few
transplanted palm trees.
"Will this do?" she
asked.
"It'll be fine," he
said, walking over, taking a seat, and crossing his legs.
"Something to drink?"
"Sure."
Heather yelled into the house.
"Julie, can we get a pitcher of lemonade, please?"
Something resembling an answer
came from the mansion, and in a moment, a maid -- Julie, or so Max figured --
placed a pitcher of ice cold lemonade and two clean glasses on the table top
before him.
"Thanks," Heather
said, tossing the towel aside, taking a seat.
"Will that be all?"
Julie asked.
"For now."
The maid disappeared.
Heather grabbed her copy of the
Healer script from a corner of the table. "Where do you want to start?"
"Y'know," Max said,
"Usually rehearsals take place on a set, with other cast members, a script
supervisor and the screenwriter present. Why here? Why
alone?"
Heather pulled a cigarette from
a pack of Marlboro Lights -- boxed -- that sat off to one side of the table
along with some sunglasses and a Movado watch. She tapped the end of the cigarette against the glass table
top, once, twice, then a few more times, then holding the cigarette between her
index and middle fingers, placed it to her mouth, lit it and took a long,
thought-filled drag.
"You smoke?" he
asked.
"Leanna does."
It was the answer he expected, because as far as Max knew, smoking was a
habit Heather didn't indulge in. But
Leanna chain smoked. Lighting
cigarettes, one after another -- Marlboro Lights in a box -- hands shaking --
more so, of course, toward the end of her story.
When Heather took another long
drag, her hands began to tremble -- Max noticed -- just slightly.
Finally she spoke, answered his first question.
"Because none of the other cast members matter.
You know that as well as I do. Leanna
is the only important character in his movie.
And I . . . am . . . Leanna.
What good will a script supervisor do?
Make notes in the margins? Feed
me lines? She'd just get in the
way. Even Anatole would, because he
doesn't take it seriously. He
doesn't take Hollywood seriously. No
one knows this story like I do. Like
we do. No one cares about it like
we do. No one shares that
passion." She looked away for
a moment. Max could feel her heat
-- the heat of her passion, not sexual, but a passion of an altogether different
variety. An intellectual passion --
her passion for Healer. She
turned back. Another long drag. "Where
do you want to start?"
"Which are your problem
scenes?" Max asked.
"There are none," she
said, so very serious.
He nodded, then matched her
seriousness, note for note, "Then let's start at the beginning."
CUT TO:
The Jewelry Mart on South Hill Street in downtown Los Angeles
proper was a collection of small jewelry shops of varying quality and integrity,
mostly comparable to New York's diamond district on West 47th Street.
It was here Paige, armed with a photographic reproduction of the elephant
pendant, courtesy of a video printer, began her quest to discover what mysteries
that four-tusked three-eyed golden version of the endangered species might hold.
The first jeweler, a
"certified" gemologist named Murray, told her it looked like cheap
costume junk. "See the way
those diamonds sparkle?" Murray said, pointing at the tusks.
"Glass, nothing but glass."
The second expert told her much
the same thing. He had never seen
such a piece, and probably wouldn't have paid much attention if he had.
It wasn't until after lunch,
Paige's seventh stop of the day, that she struck some sort of pay dirt.
A jeweler named Gozal, told her the piece, did in fact, look very rare,
but somewhat familiar, and if he could hold on to the photograph, he'd be glad
to call her in a few days with whatever information he could unearth.
"That would be
wonderful," Paige said, handing the man a twenty dollar bill for his
efforts.
Gozal nodded graciously.
"Might I ask, why you are inquiring about such a piece?"
"It was my mother's,"
Paige lied. "I'd like to know
more about it. And maybe have a
copy made."
"Of course."
CUT TO:
It took the better part of the afternoon for Max and Heather to get
through the entire script. Most of
the scenes were a breeze -- her press conference, her testimony at the trial of
her four attackers, and especially her first healing -- a woman dying of cancer
in the hospital room next to hers. Max
was so impressed and distracted with the range of Heather's emotions, that
repeatedly he forgot to feed her lines, and once found tears welling in his eyes
to go with the goosebumps parading up and down his arms.
After he finally read the
predictable FADE OUT, shut the script, and pushed it aside, he took a
long, hard look at his leading lady. She
seemed more than tired -- honestly exhausted, drained of passion, drained of
life. She seemed as if she wanted
nothing more than to sleep.
She looked up and smiled at
Max. "Was that okay?" she
asked.
"Better than okay,"
Max said. "You're there."
Heather nodded.
"I feel it," she said, lighting a cigarette -- the last
cigarette of her second pack of the afternoon.
Julie had emptied the hand carved crystal ash tray countless times, like
a waitress doing everything for that big tip.
"Ready to rehearse with
the rest of the cast?"
She nodded.
Max understood what it was all
about. Heather had never done this
before. Her rich, powerful daddy
had handed her the role of a lifetime on a silver platter.
And she wanted to succeed. She
needed to prove to the world, her co-stars, her director, the author, her
father, even herself, that she deserved the right to play Leanna.
That she was Leanna. She
needed to prove that as badly as she wanted the part.
And understandably, Heather was scared.
Max stood.
"Tomorrow," he said. "We'll
meet in my office at ten."
She nodded, then yawned.
"Sorry," she said.
Max smiled.
"You look like you could use a nap."
"Yeah," Heather said,
suddenly wishing she had the energy to flirt, to say something like, care to
join me? But she could only
sigh deeply. The chaise lounge over
by the edge of the pool looked too inviting -- more inviting, even, than Max.
"I'll see myself
out," he said.
"Bye."
"Bye."
She walked over to the chaise
and sat down, watching Max as he disappeared into the bowels of the huge castle.
The sun felt warm -- hypnotic and warm.
She slipped off her shorts, and out of her tank top, then laid back.
She closed her eyes. It took
no time, and Heather Theilgard was sound asleep.
Sleep was what she needed now, more than just about anything else.
CUT TO:
Max revved the engine of the CJ7 and headed down the half mile driveway.
He was too absorbed with thoughts of his life, his film, with thoughts of
Paige, to notice that a fourth vehicle had joined his Jeep, the Boxster and the
Volvo wagon in the castle's parking lot. A
black Mercedes sedan was perched off to one side of the Volvo, its driver, James
Utz, hidden behind the steering wheel and darkened glass of the windshield.
Utz smiled as the vision of Max's 4X4 disappeared down the long winding
private road. The bald little man
was tempted. He knew Heather had a
penchant for sunbathing nude, and the thought of catching a glimpse of
Theilgard's little girl's snatch made Utz want to blow himself.
But that would have to wait. Right
now, it was her private meeting with Mr. Maxwell that interested him most.
Strictly work -- he doubted it seriously.
Heather was too fine and much too foxy for that.
And if anyone knew of Max's sexual addiction, it was Utz, who had studied
his exploits during the making of his movie.
No, Max was slamming the boss' little girl -- of that Utz was sure.
And he had just the tool to catch them in the act.
He started the Mercedes and eased down the driveway.
He'd return the next day, or the day after that.
Whenever the Boxster was in the studio parking lot and not there, in
Malibu. He'd return with a suitcase
or two filled with the finest high tech video gadgetry money could buy -- and
that half million dollar bonus could buy a lot of gadgetry.
He'd return, set it up -- the maid would buy the "it's for
security" line -- and wait. And in turn, he'd get the video of a lifetime.
One that would most likely make Jeffrey Theilgard blow his final fuse.
CUT TO:
THIRTY-FIVE
Kristine Jacobson had worked as an assistant director with some of the
finest filmmakers in the industry. She
was by Scorsese's side throughout the making and editing of Raging Bull,
she was Sir Richard Attenborough's right hand on the Gandhi set, she
assisted Terry Gilliam during his creations, Brazil, The Adventures of
Baron Munchausen, and The Fisher King, and even worked with Robert
Zemeckis on Forest Gump. But
when Bill Wendenstein called and asked her to work on Healer, she felt
apprehensive. It had been a long
time since Kristine had worked with a novice director -- a real long time --
someone fresh from the romanticism of low budget labor-of-love filmmaking. Hell, she had even turned down Quentin Tarantino when asked
to assist on his sophomore effort Pulp Fiction -- okay, everyone made
mistakes now and then. And she
wasn't sure that at the age of forty-four, with more than two dozen film credits
under her assistant directorial belt, she wanted to deal with the pressure,
insecurities, and general hassles of working with a Hollywood rookie.
Wendenstein convinced her
otherwise. "Max is
great," he said.
"They're all great,"
Kristine argued.
"He's talented,
driven."
"Ditto," she said.
"I'll pay you four
thousand a week, plus a twenty-five thousand dollar bonus if this thing comes in
more or less on time and relatively on budget."
"More or less?
Relatively?"
"Theilgard's daughter has
got the lead."
"I remember reading
that."
"Well?"
"Make it five grand a
week, and spell out the more or less and that relatively, and you've got
yourself an assistant director."
"Deal."
CUT TO:
Kristine expected the worst. She
figured Max would be self-absorbed, pretentious, like most of the directors hot
of a film festival smash. He'd have
a vision, and use a lot of French terminology.
Healer could never be called a movie, it would always have to be
referred to as a film. But
before long, when the pressures of unions and working with millions of dollars
instead of hundreds of dollars all came crashing down on his head, he'd run to
Kristine and she'd kiss the boo-boo and make it all better.
She thought about a few of the other first-timers she worked with -- Man,
what some rag like the National Enquirer or Star wouldn't pay for
her stories. But the inquiring
minds of the world would have to wait for the eventual retirement and that
resulting autobiography. Holding
Hands in Hollywood, she'd call it. Or
maybe, Cry Babies, Concubines, and Crooks -- My Life Behind the Scenes in the
Land of Dreams. Would that book
ever set old Hollywood on its ear? Yes,
she thought to herself, it most certainly would.
But when she met John Maxwell
in Wendenstein's lavish office suite, she was immediately and pleasantly
surprised. He seemed humble --
well, as humble as any film director could ever hope to be.
He seemed nice, friendly, and -- could it be? -- anxious for her input.
It was as if he really had the best interest of Healer in mind.
"You've done this more
often than I have," Max said to her during that first meeting.
"I'll probably look to you for a lot of hand holding."
Kristine didn't know what to
say. So, she just smiled.
"I told you he was
different," Wendenstein said later.
"Let's see how things are
once the cameras roll."
CUT TO:
While Max spent the afternoon rehearsing with Heather in Malibu, Kristine
was busy working with the film's production manager, Buck Milani.
First they checked with the location scout on the progression of the
numerous sets which were being built to Max and Anatole's specifications, then
they visited the costume department where Leanna's wardrobe, as well as the
clothing of every cast member, from walk-ons and extras to the most important
supporting players, was being compiled.
Kristine was to meet with Max
late in the afternoon to give him a run down and help devise a shooting
schedule.
Max arrived at the studio a
little after four. His secretary,
Alice, handed him a small pile of those pink while-you-were-out message sheets
and informed him that Kristine was waiting in his office.
"How'd it go?" she
asked, as he entered and took a seat behind his desk.
Words of praise for Heather's
performance ran through his head, but they all sounded phony somehow, as if
phrases like amazing, stupendous, or the ever popular fabulous
lacked real meaning in Hollywood. Movie
advertising blurbs ran through his mind, If you see one movie this year . . .
So, he shrugged and smiled, and simply said, "Real good."
His tone actually said it all.
Kristine liked Max.
She wondered to herself for a moment, how long before he and his leading
lady were an item. Two weeks, she'd give it -- once the cameras rolled, once he
yelled "action," that's when the sexual chemistry would begin to boil.
She had seen it so many times before, and it never mattered if the
director or the leading lady were married, otherwise engaged, or even gay, they
always ended up in the sack -- no matter what.
It was an undeviating occurrence, the greatest of all foreplay -- it just
had to happen. And nothing
seemingly, not even a distaste for the other's sex, could stop it.
"She'll be able to pull it
off?" Kristine asked.
"She's Leanna," Max
said. "I can't even picture
anyone else playing the role. Not
now. Not after watching her."
Then, "Now . . . shall we?"
She nodded and pulled up a
chair, close to Max's. They opened
up the Healer script on the desk top before them. One hundred, eleven scenes in total. They had been broken down by location, and cross-referenced
by the characters who appeared in each.
Max ran a finger down the
location list. Twenty-one scenes
took place in the hospital -- a total of twenty-six pages -- beginning with
scene five -- Leanna waking up in a hospital bed shortly after her attack, and
ending with scene one hundred, eight -- her bedside vigil as the last of her
attackers dies. These scenes would
be shot first.
"I'd like to start with her first hospital scene," Max said.
"That's not a
problem," Kristine said. "Dr.
Franklin's in that one." She
checked the cross referencing. "He's
in a lot of them. We'll spend the
first few days getting a lot of his hospital scenes out of the way.
Leanna's got to be around anyhow -- she'll be practically living on the
set."
"She's in all but thirteen
scenes," Max said.
"And half of those
are establishing shots."
"Right."
"At a shooting ratio of
two pages a day," Kristine said, "I'm figuring fifteen days with the
hospital set. That'll give us an
extra couple of days in case something runs over.
Which always happens."
Max seemed surprised.
"Only two pages a day?"
"This is big budget, Max.
I.E. slow. We film at a
snail's pace. You've got a crew of
forty. You've got unions -- strict,
pain in the ass unions. The
wrong person so much as touches a freakin' light, we get fined. You got actors with egos out to Santa Barbara and back.
You got press junkets. Entertainment
Tonight. You'll have freakin'
Mary Hart shoving a microphone in your face every other day asking you how
things are going while you're trying to concentrate on getting in a shot before
the Goddamn magic hour disappears." She
shrugged. "You're budgeted for
a fourteen week shoot. That's
seventy working days. If we pull
off two pages a day, you're under budget and in early.
You'll be viewed as the second coming of Harry Cohn, for Christ's
sakes." Her forehead crinkled
as she peered intensely at him. "Got
it?"
He shrugged.
"Do I have a choice?"
"Yeah," she chuckled.
"Work retail."
He nodded and smiled.
"Welcome to
Hollywood."
CUT TO:
THIRTY-SIX
Wesley Selden had always hated L.A.
He wished he could just ship a copy of the latest tape to Paige via
Fed-Ex. Attach a note: "Call
me." But he knew better.
He knew he'd have to catch the earliest possibly flight out to Los
Angeles and hand deliver the video. Ahh
. . . L.A. It gave him the
heebie-jeebies, the shakes. It made
him want to up chuck and swallow it back down.
It made him think of Maggie.
He picked up the phone and
dialed the American Airlines reservation number. A woman's voice came on the line and asked the FBI commander
to "press the number one" to indicate that he indeed was calling from
a touch tone phone.
Selden sighed, and pressed one.
He listened to further instructions, and pressed further buttons, and
eventually he was put on hold. And
as he listened to a Muzak version of Slaughter's "Up All Night" -- a
song which he wouldn't have recognized even in its original form -- he couldn't
help but think that all this blasted technology was the fault of the Japanese.
CUT TO:
Jeffrey Theilgard was annoyed. His
date for the evening, a young woman named Lisa, had cancelled on him.
A sore throat, she claimed, but could she make it up to him on another
night. He grunted, sure, then hung
up.
Lisa was an actress who had been given an under five as a nurse in a
hospital scene in Healer. An
under five was a glorified walk-on, where the character actually got to speak
--though their dialogue was limited to under five lines -- thus the name, under
five. Lisa was a cute, busty girl Theilgard met at the Ivy.
She was waitressing. He
was having lunch with Francis Ford Coppola.
Theilgard had no plans on
starring Lisa in one of his little films. She
had family in the Los Angeles area. Her
father was a police sergeant. He
just wanted to give her a break in the business, and get a little appreciation
on the side. Mutually consenting
appreciation, of course. He was
looking forward to spending the evening with Lisa, and now his plans had been
shot to Cleveland.
He buzzed Randall.
"Get in here," he said. "And
bring some headshots."
"Yes, sir," Randall
said. He knew too well what that
meant. He grabbed a pile of the
best of the most recent arrivals -- no wonder, he thought, they were called headshots
-- and scuttled into the boss' office.
"Boobs," Theilgard
said, very seriously. "I want
big boobs."
"Hmmm." Randall
rubbed his chin as he flipped through the pictures. He came across one girl, a model -- Angelique was her name -- who had stapled a body shot to the
back of her resume. In the
four-by-five, drug store developed, photo-by-boyfriend glossy, the young woman
was wearing a skimpy bikini. Randall
turned the photo toward Theilgard. "They
don't come much bigger than this," he said, thinking, if you don't mind the
soft natural feel of silicone -- was there a Silicone Valley pun somewhere in
all of this?
The big man smiled.
"Yes," he said. "Give
her a call. Will you?"
"Sure thing."
Randall went back to his desk.
He looked at the photograph of the young woman and tried to imagine what
it would be like doing a woman so obviously well endowed.
He hadn't a clue. Randall
had never been with a woman. Well,
that blowjob by his boyfriend's mom didn't really count.
He was seventeen, and she couldn't deal with her son's sexual preference.
She figured if she got Randall to realize how good heterosexual sex was,
her son would follow. But not in this lifetime!
It was the worst head Randall had ever received.
And it proved his theory -- if you didn't have a cock, you didn't know
how to suck one.
He dialed Angelique's number.
She was home and would be honored to have dinner with Mr. Theilgard that
evening. He buzzed his boss and
gave him the good news.
"Thank you,"
Theilgard said.
"No problem," Randall
said, suddenly realizing that the only time Theilgard ever thanked him was when
he arranged to get the big man laid.
CUT TO:
Heather Theilgard was seated by the pool of the Malibu castle.
She was studying the Healer script, studying it obsessively, when the phone rang.
"Hello," she said.
It was Seth Fusco, one of her
co-stars. He was calling to see if
she'd like to have dinner with him, or maybe go for a drink.
"No, thank you," she
said, politely.
Fusco was stunned.
He had no clue as to what his reaction should be.
No girl had ever turned him down before.
No matter what his request, no matter what his suggestion, no matter
what. Not ever.
It just didn't happen. He
had been on the cover of Seventeen magazine four times in the past two
years. He had just been named to People
magazine's list of the fifty most beautiful people in the world.
What eighteen-year-old girl could resist his charms?
"Are you, ah . . . sure?" he asked.
"Yes," Heather said,
earnestly. "But thank you for
asking. See you on the set."
She hung up the phone, and on the other end of the line the resounding click!
sliced through one of the largest egos in all of Hollywood like the proverbial
knife through Land O Lakes sweet cream whipped butter.
Ouch!
That was the third phone call
Heather had received within the past hour. First Flynn Taylor, another of her co-stars, had phoned to
invite her to a party at his place. She
gracefully declined, but thanked him for thinking of her, nonetheless.
Then, Charlie Sheen, who had nothing to do with Healer and in fact
had never even met Heather, called to see if she'd like to go for a ride on his
new Harley. She hadn't a clue as to
how he got her phone number, but simply informed him that she really didn't like
motorcycles, but (again) thanks anyway.
And then Fusco called.
Heather's other "attackers," Jesse Corbett and Ted Taylor,
would have probably phoned as well, had one not been married, and the other gay.
She looked over at the phone --
it was about to ring, she could feel it. Reaching
over she grabbed the receiver and gently placed it to one side.
There. Off the hook.
Literally. No more phone
calls. No more offers of parties
and fast rides, either/or leading to sex . . . everything led to sex in L.A.
No more distractions.
Heather turned back to her
script and began once again to read, to memorize, to imbed the words, the
phrases, the feelings, the idiosyncrasies, into her memory, into her very heart
and soul. To transform herself into
Anatole's tortured young character. To
become, truly and inescapably, Leanna.
CUT TO:
Angelique rattled Jeffrey Theilgard's bones.
She was determined to leave the studio boss speechless.
Once, twice, a third time, then again -- every which way and then some.
Until finally Theilgard groaned, "No more.
I can't take any more."
The wannabe smiled.
She cooed, "Please. Just
once more." Then she did
something that no woman had ever done to the big man.
He was helpless, her victim.
He sprung back to life and she climbed on.
She rode, galloped off into the sunset, the wind beating at her back,
sending tumbleweeds rolling this way and that.
Then, before the credits could
even begin to roll on epic number five, it was Theilgard's turn to do something
he had never done before. He
couldn't help but say out loud, "Angelique, would you like a part in Healer?"
"A big part?" she asked.
"Big enough," he
said, understanding that this girl had just earned more than a lousy under five,
this girl had earned the whole fucking enchilada, and she deserved the
restaurant as well.
"For a big part,"
she said. "I'd do
anything."
You already have, he thought, watching as she smiled, flipped back her
hair and bucked like a first time driver behind the wheel of a Yugo equipped
with standard transmission. Then
she did it again -- the salacious stunt that no other woman dare risk.
"Oh, my God," Theilgard moaned, thinking, this girl's going to
be a star.
CUT TO:
THIRTY-SEVEN
The week was a blur . . .
CUT TO:
There was a meeting with Svenwall:
"What look are you
seeking?" the cinematographer asked.
Max scratched at his chin.
"If I had my way," he said.
"Raging Bull meets Manhattan.
Deep dark wide screen black and white."
"I like to dream as much
as the next guy," Svenwall said, knowing, like Max, that the American
movie-going public had little to zero tolerance for black and white.
That in their eyes, black and white was for I Love Lucy,
the Three Stooges and artsy-fartsy music videos.
Black and white was for Woody Allen, and once for Steven Spielberg.
And, those exceptions aside, they didn't shell out seven dollars and
fifty cents a ticket for black and white. Black
and white was for free. And studios
-- all studios, not just Theilgard -- didn't believe in free.
"Yeah," Max said.
"Think about what we could do with the hospital scenes."
"Give everything white an
ethereal glow."
Max nodded, then smiled
suddenly.
"What?" Svenwall asked.
"We could combine
black and white with color."
"Without pushing too many
buttons?"
Max shook his head, a
determined no. "Let's push 'em."
"It's your film,"
Svenwall said, a shrug, then a smile. "But
I think the big man's going to have a shit fit."
"Not if his daughter
convinces him," Max said.
"That do-able?"
"I think so," Max
said.
"In that case,"
Svenwall said. "We got the
black and white of Raging Bull combined with the color of?"
"Pedro Almodovar.
Bright, garish, out of control."
"Get a little of that Unbearable
Lightness of Being editing thing going and you've got yourself a
winner," Svenwall said.
"Let's hope so," Max
said, then, "Everything inside the hospital in black and white."
"Want every outside image
in color?"
"Meaning?"
"You see a tree outside,
through Leanna's hospital room window. Want it in color?"
"Can you do that?"
"Yeah," Svenwall
said. "But it'll cost
you."
"It's not coming out of my
pocket," Max said.
"There you go.
Cameras haven't even begun to roll and already you've caught Cimino-itis."
"I never have to look at
the books. I don't have to apply
for another credit card to pay the lab bills," Max said, then,
"It's easy spending other people's money."
"Ain't that the
truth?"
Another though occurred to Max.
"Should, maybe, the hospital itself be some massive black and white
structure? Even when seen from the outside?"
"I like that,"
Svenwall said.
"So do I," Max said.
"Let's do it."
"Consider it done."
CUT TO:
There was lunch with Michelle Bialer:
"You looked like you
haven't slept in weeks," she said. "How
you been eating okay."
"Yes, mom."
"Fine," she said
smiling. She was out in L.A. to
meet with Michael Ovitz of CAA, and wanted to spend at least a little time with
her favorite, most famous, client. "I
won't lecture."
"You can lecture,"
Max said, smiling. "I miss
your lecturing."
"I'm sure," she said,
then, "I still can't believe you pulled this off."
He smiled.
He had heard it so many times before.
"Final cut."
"The New York office is
still reeling."
"I hope you took some of
the credit."
"All of it, are you
kidding."
Talk turned to movies, music, a
hot new manuscript she was representing, then, Michelle asked, "Are you
free later?"
He exhaled.
She knew what that meant.
"What's her name?"
"Paige."
"Let's see," she
said, busting his ass. "Eighteen,
blonde, 38-D, and she's a huge Metalica fan."
"Try twenty-seven,
brunette, what-ever the exact opposite of 38-D is, and she's a huge, notice I
said huge now, Replacements fan."
"Whoa . . . this sounds
like true love."
CUT TO:
Paige received a phone call:
"Miss Thompson?"
"Yes."
"This is Gozal.
From the jewelry store. I've
uncovered a little information about your pendant."
"Go ahead," Paige
said.
"Well," he said.
"It seems your pendant was part of the ancient Aztec wedding
ceremony. Brides would wear it on
their wedding nights, at the time of consummation.
It was a fertility symbol, guaranteeing a long, fruitful life and many
sons."
Paige was silent, wondering if
its inclusion in the snuff videos was a lark or a sick joke.
"What's it made of?"
"If the pendant is real, and that's difficult to determine with a
photograph, it's made of ivory, wrapped in a layer of gold," Gozal
continued. "I'd like to see it.
If that's at all possible."
"I'm afraid it
isn't," Paige said. "You
see, my mother lost the original, and I was going to have a new one made as a
surprise."
"Of course," he said.
"If you'd like me to put together a few quotes."
"Yes," Paige said.
"But, um . . . you're not going to use ivory, are you?"
"Miss Thompson,"
Gozal said. "I have never in
my thirty-four years in business knowingly bought, sold, or traded a piece of
ivory. Ivory is for
barbarians." He sighed deeply. "I like to think of the human race in more compassionate
terms."
"If only the human race
was compassionate," Paige said, thinking of the videos.
"At times it can be,"
Gozal said, then, "I'll call you next week."
"Thank you."
"Good-bye, Miss
Thompson." Gozal hung up, and
scribbled down a note to remember to call the young woman the following week.
He would not have to do much calculating in regards to the copy, having
already made such a pendant -- an identical pendant -- not that long ago.
He couldn't help but wonder, though, why Aztec fertility symbols were
suddenly so in vogue.
CUT TO:
There was an exclusive interview with Mary Hart of Entertainment
Tonight:
"You once said that no
film would ever be made from any of your novels," she said, crossing her
legs. "What made you change
your mind?"
"I was bored,"
Anatole said, then, "Are your legs really insured for million bucks?
Someone told me that. I
mean, shit, they're nice and all, but isn't that a bit silly?"
She cleared her throat.
"They sure are." She
smiled graciously and carried on. "Maybe
you should consider having your fingers insured.
Can't type without fingers."
The author laughed.
"Mary, if I ever had these fingers insured, it would have nothing to
do with typing. Let me tell you that. Nothing
to do with typing at all. These
fingertips know how to dance the hoochie-coochie, they can scale mountains, part
the red seas." He leaned
close, and whispered, "And if I wasn't otherwise involved, I'd offer to
demonstrate on them million dollar gams of yours."
CUT TO:
There was a meeting with Heather:
"The rehearsal went
well," Max said.
"Dan Mulligan is
wonderful," Heather said, sounding surprised. "He's got such a reputation."
"For perfection?"
"For being an
asshole."
"Maybe you're putting a
little too much faith in the reporting ethics of People magazine."
"It was Us
magazine," Heather said, a smile. "If
you don't mind."
"That makes a world of
difference."
She laughed.
"He brings just the right
element of sleazy charm to Dr. Franklin," Max said.
"The perfect bedside manner."
"You want to love him and
kill him, all at the same time," Heather said.
"Something like
that," Max said, then, abruptly changing the subject, "There's been
something I've been wanting to talk to you about."
"What's that?"
Heather said, an expectant smile.
"I want to shoot the
hospital scenes in black and white."
Heather's forehead crinkled.
She wasn't sure what exactly Max was getting at.
"And?"
"And . . . I need your
help."
"I don't know anything
about film," she said, confused.
"No.
But you know how to get things out of your old man."
She nodded.
"Father doesn't like the black and white idea?"
"Doesn't know about it
yet," Max said "But he's
bound to employ a presidential veto. Unless
of course you convince him otherwise."
"First you have to
convince me," Heather said. The
smile reappearing with a slightly lecherous edge.
"And how should I do
that?" Max asked, thinking Paige was so right. She had called the shot . . . Heather will come on you, and
she'll come on strong.
"I'll think of something," Heather said.
"He needs to be persuaded A.S.A.P."
"Okay," Heather said.
"Let's just say you owe me one.
I'll decide what, when and where at a later date. In the meantime, I'll
speak to father."
"Thanks."
CUT TO:
There was a conference in the costume department:
"I don't think you're
going to be happy," Kristine Jacobson said.
"What's the problem?"
Max asked.
Production manager, Buck Milani
held up a flowered print dress. "Is
this what you see for Leanna?" he asked.
Max scratched at his forehead.
"No," he said.
"Didn't think so,"
Kristine said.
"Black," Max said.
"Lots of black."
"That's what I told
them," Milani said. "And
this is what we got."
Max looked through Leanna's
rack of costumes. "This is
hideous. No one wears clothes like
this."
"My feelings
exactly."
"How's the rest of
it?" Max asked.
"Fine," Kristine
said. "Leanna's the only
problem."
"They're clueless,"
Milani said.
"Well," Max said.
"Fill them in."
CUT TO:
There was a meeting with Wendenstein:
"Max.
What's this I hear about part of the movie being shot in black and
white?"
"The hospital
scenes," Max explained.
"You know what the
American public thinks of black and white?" Wendenstein asked.
Max nodded.
"They think it's
pretentious and arty. And Americans
don't like pretentious and arty."
"What about
Spielberg?" Max asked.
"He isn't arty."
"Scorsese?"
"He isn't
pretentious."
"Woody Allen?"
"He's both."
Max laughed.
"Don't worry about it."
"I'm the producer,"
Wendenstein said. "It's my
responsibility to worry. Check the
job description."
"Heather Theilgard thinks
it's a good idea."
"I see," Wendenstein
said. "Has she spoken to her
father?"
"I believe so."
"Then there's no point in
having this discussion."
CUT TO:
An offer was made to Tori Lynn:
"The agency said you
wanted to see me," the porn queen said, taking a seat before Max.
She was less cocky, less brash. Almost
demure. A student called before her principal. A woman in need of work, before her last chance employer.
Gone was the low cut/high cut/push up/skin tight party attire, replaced
by a simple spring time dress, silky but lose.
She still looked sexy -- Tori Lynn would look sexy dressed in brown
plastic trash bag or a canvas tarp, she possessed that power -- but not
blatantly so. Instead of being
knocked out of the ring -- a K.O. in the first seconds of the first round -- you
were jabbed softly below the belt, and the referee never even noticed.
Max got right to the point.
"I want to offer you a role in Healer."
Tori's appearance changed
suddenly and dramatically. The look
on her face suggested someone had mortally insulted her. "Excuse me," she said.
"Healer," Max
said. "I'd like to offer you
the role of Anne Pecota." He
began to explain the character, but Tori cut him short.
"I know who she is,"
she said. "Paxton Rowe's legal
assistant. I've read the
book," she looked down, then away, then back at Max, as if embarrassed by
the next fact. "A few
times."
"It's a small part,"
he said. "But it's a
start."
"Why?" she asked.
"Why what?" Max said.
"Why give me a
part?"
"Cause I just watched a
couple of your movies . . ." Max began.
"And you want to fuck
me."
"And," he
said. "I saw you bring life to
some of the worst dialogue ever written. I'd
sort of like to see what you can do with a real role."
Tori sat back in the chair and
smiled. "You're putting me
on," she said, the porn star charm turned suddenly on high.
"You don't have to do this, y'know.
I mean, if you want to get in my pants, buy me dinner.
Ask me over for a drink. Hell,
I would have probably fucked you . . ."
Max cut her off.
"Tori, stop," he said. "I'm
offering you a role in my movie. And
that's all I'm interested in. Do
you want it?"
The mystique vanished, she
became insecure, almost innocent. "You're
giving this to me because of my acting talent?"
"I promise," he
explained. "This film means
everything to me. I wouldn't offer
you the part if I didn't think you could do it."
"Honest?"
He nodded and smiled.
"Honest."
They stared at each other for a
moment. Not awkwardly, but out of
some strange form of mutual respect. What
each had been through to arrive at this point.
The Porn Queen and the Hot Shot Director.
It sounded like a bad mid-70's comedy starring Goldie Hawn and George
Segal.
"Well?" he asked, finally.
"Count me in," she
said.
"Good."
She began to laugh.
"What's so funny?" he
said.
"No one's gonna believe
it," she said.
"Believe what?"
"That I didn't fuck you
every which way, long, tall and short, to get this part."
Max nodded and smiled and
wondered, just for a split second, about the long, tall and short bit, but said,
"Let 'em think what they want.
Just prove them wrong up there on the big screen.
That's the only place that counts."
"The only places that
count in this town are bank vaults and bedrooms," Tori said.
"Trust me on that one."
CUT TO:
There was a drive by a few of the exterior locations:
Kristine was at the wheel of
her black Jeep Cherokee. "That's
what we'll be using for the hospital exterior." She pointed out at the midtown L.A. high-rise.
"Squint and it can pass for New York."
"I like it," Svenwall
said, from the back seat.
"Look at the
gargoyles," Max said, then turning to Kristine. "How'd you ever find this place."
"Credit for this one goes
to Buck," she explained. "He's
been wanting to use this building in a movie for as long as I can
remember."
"What do you think,
Anatole?" Max asked.
In the back seat the author
grunted. "I'm squinting and it
still ain't New York."
And hour later -- a typical
L.A. driving hour -- heavy traffic, not long distance -- the Jeep turned into
Griffith Park.
"Let me guess,"
Anatole said. "Central Park,
right?"
"You got it,"
Kristine said.
Anatole looked around.
He read the signs pointing toward golf courses, tennis courts, pony
rides, and the bird sanctuary. "Yeah,"
he said, sucking in his breath.
Svenwall leaned close.
"Bet you a hundred bucks," he said to Anatole, "you won't
be able to tell the difference between this place and Central Park when I get
through filming it."
Anatole gawked at the
cinematographer. "You
serious?"
"I'll run film shot in
Central Park back to back with the film I shoot here. You tell me which is which, I hand you a C-note.
On the spot."
You're on," Anatole said,
then with a laugh, "Wanna make it a grand?"
"I'm only a
cinematographer," Svenwall said. "I
don't make your kind of money."
"No one makes his
kind of money," Max said.
Next the Jeep ventured out to
Melrose Avenue, which would fill in for Greenwich Village.
"If this is such a big
budget extravaganza," Anatole said. "Then
why not film the Goddamn thing in New York?"
"Because then it would be
an even bigger budget extravaganza," Kristine explained.
"And you can never predict
the New York weather," Svenwall added.
"As opposed to L.A.,"
Anatole said. "Where it's
always so," he let the next word dance pirouettes on his tongue, "lo-ve-ly."
"Something like
that," the cinematographer said, with a smile.
"And let's not forget the
unions," Kristine said.
"What about 'em?"
Anatole asked.
"The New York film unions
have crippled shooting," Kristine explained.
"Their demands are outrageous, their wages higher than anywhere
else."
"So," Anatole said.
"It's cheaper to film a New York street scene in L.A., than it is to
film it in New York?"
"Absolutely,"
Kristine said. "Between the
Theilgard back lot and L.A.'s generic architecture . . ."
"You mean ugly,"
Anatole said.
" . . . we can make a
Greenwich Village street scene look so realistic that even the Mayor of New York
wouldn't be able to tell the difference."
"Well, blow my tootie,"
Anatole said.
"Add onto that the expense
of dragging the cast and most of us to New York for who knows how long, and
forget it," Kristine continued. "We're
ten million over budget, Theilgard is making life hell for Wendenstein, and
Wendenstein, in turn, is making life hell for us."
"Hollywood's version of
the trickle down theory," Max suggested.
"What comes around, goes
around. And in this town, that
usually isn't good."
CUT TO:
There was another meeting with Svenwall:
"All set," Max said.
"I heard," Svenwall
said. "The first black and
white footage ever shot for a Theilgard production.
I feel honored." He
shook his head slightly. "We're
lucky we were able to get the film."
"What do you mean?"
"There's not much of a
call for black and white 35mm motion picture film. Or so the fine folks at Kodak informed me.
They told me my name would be put on a waiting list and I should have the
stock in two to three months."
"You're kidding?"
The cinematographer shook his
head, then began to smile. "So,
I had Wendenstein put in a call. He told them that either they come up with what we need, or
every Theilgard production from this point forward would be shot on Agfa
stock."
"And?"
Svenwall laughed.
"Two hundred thousand feet arrived earlier this afternoon.
We're all set."
CUT TO:
There was another meeting with Wendenstein:
"Max.
What's this I hear about you offering the role of Anne Pecota to Tori
Lynn?"
"I thought she'd be
perfect for the part," Max said. "And
I didn't think you'd mind my one contribution to the casting effort."
"But . . . she's a porn
star."
"She's, and I quote the
shooting script, smart, sassy, and independent, with a body that could rust the
staples off a centerfold," Max said, adding, "And she knows how to
deliver a line."
Wendenstein began to laugh.
He wagged a you-naughty-boy finger at his director.
His tone was almost lecherous. "You're
fucking her."
"No, Bill," Max said,
not even cracking a smile. "I'm
not fucking her."
"You want to fuck
her."
"Every guy wants to fuck
Tori Lynn. I'm not dead.
But that's beside the point."
"Which is?"
"I'm not fucking her.
And I have no plans to fuck her."
"I don't get it."
"I gave her the part
because I think she's got talent, and I wanted to give her a break."
"I see." The
producer scratched at his right ear. "So,
you don't mind if I ask her out?"
Max laughed.
"What you do with Tori Lynn is no business of mine, as long as it
doesn't interfere with her playing the part of Anne Pecota."
"She knows she's got the
part no matter what?"
"Um-huh."
"Damn," the producer
said. "Think maybe you could
give her a call and tell her it has to be approved by me first?"
"Uh-uh."
"Didn't think so."
Wendenstein shrugged. "Guess
I'll have to rely on my charm and good looks as usual."
"And if they don't
work?"
"I'll offer her a role in
my next picture."
CUT TO:
There was a meeting with Wesley Selden:
"Why Santa Monica?"
she asked, standing at the edge of the Municipal Pier.
"I like stepping over
homeless people," Selden replied.
Paige smiled.
Selden needed for her to. He
was running out of people at the bureau who appreciated good sarcasm.
"It seems like a place
where a young woman would go shopping, or maybe for a walk."
"Rodeo Drive and Melrose
Avenue are the places to go shopping," Paige said.
"And no one goes for walks."
She nudged him with her elbow. "A
little L.A. etiquette."
"Who knew?" Selden
said, a shrug.
Paige answered with a little
shrug of her own, then said, "What do you have?"
Selden handed her a bag from
the Midnight Special Bookstore, a little shop over on the 3rd Street Promenade.
He had purchased a book to read on the plane ride home -- a mystery by
Carl Hiaasen -- and now was putting the bag to good use.
Paige grasped the bag tightly
in her hands, then she listened as Selden filled her in on the Senator and his
kick-the-bucket wardrobe of choice.
"They're dropping like
flies," Paige said.
"Lucky for us."
"Right," she said,
thinking it'd seem a lot luckier if one of the sonofabitches would just turn
himself and his half-million dollar video in, with the name, address, and phone
number of the person from whom it was ordered.
"How out you?" he
asked. "Everything going as
planned?"
"Yes," she said.
"Everything's on schedule."
"Good."
Reaching out, squeezing her arm, Selden nodded his farewell, then turned
on his heels and disappeared down the pier.
Paige watched him walk away -- the limp, she could never forget his limp.
His sky blue wind breaker flapped in the persistent Santa Monica breeze.
He looked unhappy. Lost. Like
everyone in L.A.
Selden was tempted to spend a
few smog covered days searching for his God child, Maggie.
It was a most inviting proposition.
He'd find her, or at least her trail.
Of that he was sure. Those
years working recon in Nam proved that he could find anyone or anything, no
matter what or how little was left. And
if he wasn't so damn terrified as to where his search for his God daughter might
lead, he probably would have. Yeah,
he would have, he thought to himself as he headed his car out onto the freeway
in search of LAX.
CUT TO:
Max was introduced to Donald Bush:
"Max," Svenwall said,
doing the introduction. "I'd
like you to meet the best camera operator in all of Hollywood, Donald
Bush."
Max shook Bush's hand.
"Nice to meet you."
"Same here."
"Karl speaks highly of
you," Max said.
"He should," Bush
said. "I've saved his ass
enough times."
"When we can't come up
with a shot that works," Svenwall explained. "We turn it over to Donald."
"Remember that scene in Hops
where everything was shot in extreme close up?" Bush asked.
"Yeah," Max said,
vaguely remembering. "Close-ups
of mouths and eyes and hands."
"That's the one,"
Svenwall said.
"My idea," Bush
bragged.
"The set was so Goddamn
ugly, Hargrove refused to shoot on it," Svenwall explained.
"But we were already way over budget.
So, Donald here suggested we shoot everything in E.C.U.
You'll never see the set, we told Hargrove."
"He hems and haws,"
Bush said. "Fucking actors got
no business behind the camera."
"I tell him, try it.
What does he have to lose?" Svenwall said.
"If it works, you don't have to rebuild the set.
If not, you wasted a little film. The
cast and crew were being paid whether we shot or not."
"Wasn't that the scene the
critics raved about?" Max asked.
"The fucker didn't give me
any credit," Bush said. "Made
like it was his idea." He
shook his head slightly. "Fucking
actors. Sometimes I think they
should all die."
"I don't know if I'd go
that far," Max said.
"Max," Bush said.
"You haven't been in this business long enough."
He turned and barked some orders at a few Grips who were beginning to
light the hospital set. He spun
back to face Max and Svenwall, said, "I gotta go break some necks,"
then huffily walked off toward the lighting crew.
"He's abrasive,"
Svenwall said, tapping an index finger just to the side of his right eye.
"But he's got the eye. He's
managed focus pulls in the dark, rack focuses, long, slow dolly shots.
Remember the bedroom scene in Head Games?"
Max nodded.
"The six minute tracking shot."
Svenwall held up the same index
finger for emphasis. "One
take."
"I'm surprised the cast
didn't blow it," Max said.
"All they had to do was
fuck," Svenwall said. "We
moved that camera in, out, around, over, under. Christ, I swear we got closer to Christina Williamson than
Seth Fusco did." He began to
laugh. "Donald smoked four
cigarettes in a row right after he got that shot. He was more exhausted than they were."
He nodded sincerely. "The
guy's a genius. A little strange,
maybe."
"Who isn't?"
"True enough,"
Svenwall said, adding, "I should tell you about his hand held
footage."
CUT TO:
Max and Paige watched the Senator's video:
She had told Max about the
meeting in Santa Monica, but he seemed distracted, so very far away.
"Just play it," he
said, thinking how he had never wanted to see another of these monstrosities.
"Let's get this over with."
Paige hit PLAY.
The music thundered, and there was the elephant pendent, dangling in
front of an orangish background. The
shot dissolved, slowly, into a carefully cropped image of work shoes.
The camera panned up from the shoes, to the shapely calves, to the tanned
knees, to the hem of the obnoxiously colorful uniform of a world famous fast
food chain, and the bottom edge of the apron.
Max sighed loudly -- a deep
exhale. Paige turned from the TV
and looked into his face. She could
almost make out the garish colors reflected in his eyes.
On the monitor the pan upwards
continued, past the tapered waist, the dangling pendant, up the young woman's
slender neck, to a perfectly framed close up of the young woman's face, topped
off by that ridiculous fucking hat.
Paige was still looking at Max
when the pain of recognition began to contort his features.
"No," he said, very softly.
Paige glanced at the TV.
The absolute horror in the young woman's face made her turn back quickly.
"Gina," Max
whispered. "That's Gina."
Paige turned back toward the
monitor. The cameraman was panning
up -- a close up of her hands tied together.
"The girl who kissed you
in the Hammermill."
"Yes."
"Whose headshot was in . .
.
"Yes."
"God."
"If you hadn't come
along."
"You might have taken her
home."
"No," he said.
He looked away just as the blue plaid dress became a blue plaid puddle on
the snuff room floor.
"Don't even think it."
Max stood and paced about the
room. "Jesus fucking
Christ!" He leaned against the
closest wall and punched it hard. Then
again. "What the fuck is going
on?" He punched the wall
again.
Paige went to his side.
She touched his arm lightly. But
he only pulled away, then walked out of the room.
Leaving her standing there, alone, staring after his shadow.
CUT TO:
Theilgard and Utz made plans:
"Bush is going to be tied
up for at least three months," Utz said.
"So?" Theilgard
asked.
"Let's do one for the
road. This weekend.
Before his real job begins."
"Do you have an
order?"
"I think so."
The hairless man laughed. "This
Catalina dickhead is real curious. I
think he'd jump at the opportunity to own one of our originals."
"What do you have in
mind?"
"A little baseball bat
fantasy."
Theilgard shrugged.
Utz rubbed his hands together
greedily. "I can string up
some regulation sized hardballs like anal beads. A couple of Louisville Sluggers.
Be a hell of a lot more interesting than that damned switchblade."
"Fine," Theilgard
said, feeling suddenly aroused at the seeds his little friend had planted in his
skull.
"Saturday night."
"Yes.
Show up around midnight. I
have just the girl for your little league fantasy."
Utz smiled.
"This ain't no little league. This
is the fucking World Series."
CUT TO:
There was a quick polish with Anatole:
"It's the scene between
Leanna and her Mom," Max explained.
"What's wrong with
it?" Anatole asked.
"It's not working.
Something isn't clicking."
"Anita Darby isn't
clicking," Anatole said. "She
stopped clicking twenty years ago. She
wouldn't know a click if it bit her on her sagging ass."
"She's older than I
expected," Max had to agree.
"Old!
Damnit, Max, the broad's ancient."
Anatole laughed. "I was talking with her the other day.
For the hell of it, I asked her how old she was.
She blushed and said, sixty-two. Hell,
if Anita Darby's sixty-two, I'm a fucking fetus.
I'm telling you, she was a teenager during the first world war."
Max laughed.
"She's not that old."
"She's so old, that if you cut her in half you still couldn't figure
out her age by counting the rings, because numbers don't go that high." The author began to cackle, then cough. "Shit! She's
so old, she remembers voting for Roosevelt -- Teddy Roosevelt."
"I get the picture.
So, what so we do?"
"Suggest a late
retirement."
"About the script?"
"We cut out all her
lines," Anatole suggested.
"Let Heather carry the
scene?"
"Yeah.
Just have the old broad cry a lot. She
should be able to manage that."
"You're cruel," Max
said, but he couldn't help but laugh.
"Y'know how old she
is?"
"No," Max said,
playing along. "How old?"
"She's so old that . .
."
CUT TO:
There was a call to uncle Bill:
"But the weather's
great."
"Why would I want to go
out there when I just got myself a forty inch Mitsubishi color television?
Are you nuts?"
"It's just that I'm going
to be really tied up with the film. It's
going to be a while before I can fly back out East.
I have tons of room."
"Don't you worry about
me," the elderly gentleman said. "My
TV's the talk of the building. It's
real popular with the widows, if you know what I mean."
Max wasn't quite sure he did,
but he was sure he didn't want his uncle to elaborate.
"You ask that girl to
marry you yet?"
"Not yet."
"What are you waiting for?
Hell's not scheduled to freeze over for years."
"The time's not right.
I've got a lot on my mind . . . wanna get this movie right."
"You know what I've got to
say about that, don't you?"
"Baloney?"
"Baloney!"
CUT TO:
And there was a small and very
private party at Theilgard's Malibu estate:
Angelique arrived promptly at
eight PM. It was a Saturday night,
and though she had more offers of dates and weekends here, there and everywhere,
more offers than she could possibly remember, it was with Jeffrey Theilgard that
she'd spend this most popular of evenings.
He was the man who'd immortalize her.
Of that she was relatively sure. He
seemed so firm on the outside, but she just knew he was nothing more than a big
old teddy bear on the inside. She
had never seen a lover more grateful. Hell,
she always did that in bed. It
wasn't any big deal. Back in high
school, her girlfriends thought she was gross for even entertaining the thought,
never mind carrying it out, but Angelique figured, even back then, if sex wasn't
a little bit dirty, well, then, it wasn't any good.
"Hello," Theilgard
said, opening the door.
"No butler, Mr. Theilgard,"
Angelique said, a sexy smile forming on her lips.
"I gave him the night
off," the big man explained.
Angelique stepped into the
mansion, walked past the big man, her hand brushing lightly against his crotch.
Theilgard cleared his throat,
just slightly. Then shut the door,
and locked it. Once safely inside,
the big man handed her a small but meticulously wrapped box.
"For me?" she said.
A broad grin.
Opening the package, Angelique
oohed and ahhed, taking the present from the velvety interior of the box, and
holding it up for closer inspection.
"Do you like it?"
Theilgard asked.
And though she would have
certainly preferred something more, well, modern, this little jeweled elephant
was certainly different. Unique in
its own mutant sort of way. "I
love it," she said.
"Put it on."
Angelique lifted the gold chain
over her head. "It'll look
much better against my skin," she said, suddenly peeling off her top.
"There." The four-tusked beast dangled between the heavenly man-made
mounds. "See?"
"Yes," Theilgard
said, his voice a quivering whisper. "Much
better. Much, much better,
indeed."
CUT TO:
END OF INSTALLMENT #8
MAKE SURE TO COME BACK August 1st, 2000 TO CONTINUE.
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1999
Gorman
Bechard
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